We all have those days when we’re not quite at our best, but still looking for the right words. The sporting world is no different only slightly more amusing. Some of our favorite funny sports quotes are below…
John Ralston, Former Denver Broncos Head Coach
“I resigned as the Broncos coach because of illness and fatigue. The fans were sick and tired of me.”
Coach wasn’t, isn’t, and won’t be the only one. And he’s still churning out these gems at 91.
Frank Howard, Clemson Football Coach
“I had a lifetime contract, but the administration declared me dead.”
Exhibit B. Please see Exhibit A.
Charles Barkley, NBA Hall of Fame
“These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.”
Two words juxtaposed… genuine genius.
Rocky Graziano, Heavyweight boxing legend
“I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.”
Amazingly enough, the same logic by which I quit playing baseball. Not because I couldn’t see the curve, but because I couldn’t hit it.
Charles Shackleford, NBA
“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”
…and possibly ambidextrous.
Gordie Howe, NHL Legend
“All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.”
By this wonderful measuring stick, any commuter whos been cut off in traffic is multilingual.
Doug Collins, NBA Coach & Player
“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”
Yes, yes coach, that almost makes a great deal of sense.
Joe Garagiola, Former MLB Journeyman
“I went through baseball as a player to be named later.”
Haven’t we all felt like Joe at some point or another?
John Kruk, MLB All-Star
“I’m not an athlete, I’m a baseball player.”
It takes an introspective man to realize his limitations and potential.
Ryan Lochte, Olympian
“I guess you would say I’d be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn’t there.”
How else do you describe almost being the GOAT, from an honest, albeit flawed swimmer.